Before We Knew Read online

  Before We Knew

  Mary A. Wasowski

  BEFORE WE KNEW

  By

  Mary A. Wasowski

  Copyright ©2019

  Cover Design by Francessca’s PR & Design

  Editing by Joe Marron

  Formatting by Ava Manello

  eBook edition

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International

  and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this

  material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form

  or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any

  information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the

  author / publisher.

  Contents

  Prologue

  Part I

  1. Picking up the pieces

  2. When you least expect it

  3. The first step of many…I hope

  4. Swept off my feet

  5. Inseparable

  6. Changes

  7. Falling in love for the first time is hard but worth it

  8. Giving thanks

  9. No turning back

  10. Can we be any happier?

  Part II

  11. Past meets present

  12. Mystery woman

  13. This is my life, not yours

  14. Buried secrets

  15. Breakable truths

  16. The missing pieces

  17. The lies we tell to protect the ones we love

  18. We will find the way or make a new one

  19. You promised forever, let’s see if that’s still true

  20. Unspeakable reality

  21. Missing us

  22. Home is wherever you are

  23. What comes next?

  24. Weddings, graduations, and domestication

  25. Freedom never felt so good

  26. I see the real you

  27. What’s it going to take?

  28. A wedding and a proposal

  29. Say yes to a future with me

  30. We are in this together

  31. London

  32. London, part two

  33. London, part three

  34. London, part four

  35. London, part five

  36. London, part six

  37. See you soon, London

  38. Pride

  39. Listen

  Part III

  40. Welcome to your new life

  41. An American girl in London

  42. Shell game

  43. Christmas wishes do come true

  44. New Year resolutions

  45. It’s a girl

  46. The road home

  47. So, that happened

  A Note from the Author

  Acknowledgments

  Other Books by Mary A. Wasowski

  Forever Series:

  Standalone novels:

  About the Author

  Prologue

  The night before

  “Mom!” I shouted as my older sister shoved me into the pantry closet door. “Ouch, watch it, Leah, before I push back.”

  “Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try. You are such a big baby, always calling for mom to bail you out of the situations that you create. I wouldn’t be baking four dozen cookies for your bake sale had you given mom enough notice. You do remember she’s the kind of mom that goes the extra mile for us and not one that simply sends in store-bought. One more thing: mom is not home, remember? You are so used to tattling on me that you don’t even know the difference when mom is home or out.”

  “Okay, I get it, but I’m sorry I forgot about the PTA function. I was kind of busy submitting my college applications before the deadline swallowed me up.”

  “Always with the dramatics, little sister. You have a solid 4.0 GPA with excellent SAT scores, not to mention the National Honor Society, blah, blah, blah. The list is so long it gives me a headache.”

  “Jealous much? Just because you didn’t go to college, don’t try and make me feel bad about it.”

  “You know what…” said Leah, as she slammed the bowl of flour down to the counter. “For a smart girl, you’re pretty clueless. And, if you were listening, you would have heard me paying you a compliment, which is the complete opposite of jealousy. I’m proud you’re going to get to go to your dream school, and for the record, my decision to take a gap year had more to do with mom than with me. So, little sister, get your facts straight before you give me any more of your high and mighty attitude.”

  I felt as small as Leah made me feel. The truth hurts, no matter how much you try to avoid it. Our dad had been gone for two years now, leaving the Whitman women to do all the heavy lifting to keep the roof over our heads and put food on the table. Mom worked as a social worker and made less than nothing, but she knew how to keep us on a budget and secure that my college tuition account was safe and secure.

  For Leah, it was a different story. She didn’t take my father’s death all that well and started screwing up in school, damaging her chances of securing a scholarship to NC State University. She rallied in the end after mom got tough and told her enough was enough. No amount of rebelling would ever bring back our beloved father, and it was up to us to carry on and keep our family together. Leah managed to graduate, but the chances of being awarded a scholarship had ended after she was suspended from school. She always averaged an A in all her classes, but then all plummeted to a low C at best.

  Mom hired her a tutor with money we didn’t have, but mom never complained and managed to pay for it with the help of a night job which she kept until the day she clapped proudly for Leah when she was handed her diploma. Leah and I both offered to get jobs, but mom would not have it.

  Leah worked as a lifeguard and swim instructor over the summer at the local pool club. She saved as much as she could so she could at least pay for the first semester on her own at our local community college. She wanted her good news to be a surprise for mom, and then after seeing some overdue bill notices from the collectors we still owed, Leah’s decision was final, and all the money she saved had gone to pay off our mother’s bills.

  Our house was paid off, which was a good thing, but it was keeping up with the rest of the bills that worried mom from month to month. Leah put off college to work full-time and promised mom she would go back to school once we were in a better situation. And here I was, giving my big sister shit when all she had done was put our family first.

  I finished with the cookies, and while they were cooling, I cleaned up the kitchen. Leah had retreated up to her room to be alone and probably get far away from me. I gave her some time, and then I climbed the stairs to her attic bedroom and knocked on the door. She called out that it was open and allowed me to enter. She had her nose in a book with a serious expression on her face.

  I flopped down on her bed and said, “I’m a selfish and spoiled girl. I’m sorry for saying those things to you. Will you forgive me?” Tears were beginning to form, because hurting Leah was the last thing I ever wanted to do. We’re sisters, and sisters fight from time to time.

  “Yeah, brat, I forgive you. Listen, I’m sorry too. Hallie, I love you, and I want to see you go to college and become all the things you’ve been dreaming about.”

  “I hear the hesitation,” I said while nudging her shoulder to keep on talking to me.

  “I’m your older sister, and after daddy died, I felt I needed to step up and help mom, and that included taking care of you. I don’t regret it; you need to know and understand that. There’s no shame in putting family first. Mom has enough on her plate than to have to worry about us fighting all the time. So, please,
let’s forget about tonight and just move on. I have work in the morning and you have school. So, get out of my room and go to sleep.” I knew she was joking because she was smiling.

  I gave Leah the biggest hug I could give and then asked if I could stay here tonight with her.

  She hesitated at first and then gave in. “Okay, but don’t get used to my king-sized bed. This is a one-time deal, okay?”

  “Okay, and thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Don’t hog all the covers. I’m going to go downstairs to check the house. I’ll be back up.”

  “Leah, it’s getting kind of late. When is mom coming home?” I asked and then glanced over at the clock.

  “Yeah, it is, but you know she had to work late and then she had a meeting across town.”

  “I’d feel better if I knew when she was coming home. Let’s call her,” I said and then pulled my cell phone from my pocket.

  It rang four times before her voicemail came on with mom’s cheery and soft voice. I hung up and then called back again, this time reaching mom.

  “Hey, where are you?” I asked, trying not to sound accusatory.

  “Oh, honey, I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. After my meeting, I remembered that you and Leah were baking tonight. I stopped at the dollar store to pick up the cookie tins. I just think presentation is key to winning over the bake sale.”

  I happily smiled, remembering what Leah had said earlier about mom. Our mom was the best and always went the extra mile when she didn’t need to. Leah gestured for me to hand her the phone, and then she put it on speakerphone for both of us to talk to mom.

  “Mom, will you just come home? Have you had dinner yet?” Leah admonished.

  “Oh, you both worry too much. Yes, I had dinner with my colleagues. I just checked out, and I’m safely in my car. Girls, I know you worry when I’m late, but I’m a grown woman who can take care of herself. I love you both and will be home soon. Save a cookie for me, okay?”

  “Yes, mom,” we both said together and then said, “We love you, and drive safe.”

  “I love you too, and I’ll see you soon.”

  The sound of the doorbell woke me up from my sound sleep. I turned over to see it was close to one am. Leah was out like a light, and I had to nudge her a few times to wake her up.

  “What, Hallie?” she groaned into her pillow.

  “Someone is at the door. You don’t hear the bell?”

  “I do now,” she said and then kicked off the covers and reached for her robe. “Come, let’s see who it is before they wake up mom.”

  We crept quietly down the stairs that led to the second landing and quietly passed our mother’s bedroom. Her door was closed, which was not uncommon for her to do. Once we reached the first floor, Leah turned on the entryway lights and looked out the peephole.

  “Hallie, it’s the cops,” she said and then slowly opened the door to two police officers standing at our front door. “Can I help you officers?” she asked as the rain continued to pound our covered porch.

  “Leah and Hallie Whitman?” the older cop asked.

  “Yes, I’m Leah, and this is Hallie. What can we do for you?”

  “Girls, I’m Officer Juan Santos, and this is my partner, Patrolman Bruce Sampson. We would like to come in to talk to you.”

  Leah moved aside and invited them in and then said, “I don’t know what this is about, but I need to get my mom. She’s sleeping upstairs.” She turned around to go, and then Officer Santos stopped her.

  “Um, that’s why we’re here. Your mother, Jo Beth, was involved in a vehicular accident this evening on highway 55. Another car careened into your mother’s car after hydroplaning, forcing your mother’s car to the side of the road and crashing into a utility pole.”

  “Oh my god! What hospital is she at? We have to go to her,” Leah said scrambling to look for her wallet and keys. I was frozen and still stood silently in the entryway knowing something awful happened to mom.

  “I’m so very sorry to tell you that your mother was pronounced dead on the scene and taken to Mercy General.”

  I don’t remember too much after hearing those words like “pronounced dead” and “sorry for your loss.” Leah was inconsolable as I just stood there frozen. Our mom was not upstairs sleeping soundly in her warm bed. No, she was cold and lying in the morgue of a hospital.

  Our mother was dead, and now we were orphans with the heart of our family now gone. What are we going to do now? I silently thought as I watched the two officers try to calm Leah down.

  The officers who delivered the news stayed with us for a couple of hours to make sure we were okay. They didn’t have to do that, but you could see kindness in their eyes, and then it took another tragedy to learn that Officer Santos sometimes played golf with our dad. We never knew, but I sat there and listened to him speak fondly of him.

  We were in no shape to go down to the hospital tonight to identify mom’s body. They told us that it was okay and we could do it in the morning.

  Leah wouldn’t allow me to go in with her. I begged her to change her mind, but she refused and ordered me to wait outside. The doors were electronically locked, so there was no way I could attempt to sneak in if I wanted to.

  A few minutes later, Leah emerged from the doors that swung open, and she pulled me into a strong hug. “Oh, baby sister, don’t be mad at me for not letting you go back there. It’s not something a child should ever have to see.”

  “I’m not a child, Leah. That’s my mother in there, too, and I have a right to see her.”

  “Yeah, you do, but that is not a memory I want you to carry with you for the rest of your life and neither would mom. Please don’t fight me on this. Let’s go home.” Her words were final, and I had no choice but to follow.

  The days that followed were a blinding blur. We had endless visitors stop by with covered dishes and offering all kinds of help to us. Leah graciously gave our thanks and sent them away as quickly as they arrived. We’d done this already after losing our father, and Leah decided she wasn’t going to fall apart and rely on strangers to pick up the pieces of our broken family.

  Leah was the perfect daughter who handled every last detail of our mother’s funeral. She was the executor of mom’s estate, another fact I didn’t know. Everything was handled down to the last ordered flower, and in the blink of an eye, we were standing in front of mom’s coffin at the cemetery. We held hands and said our goodbyes to not only our mother but our father too. I knew Leah would not be returning to this place, and I wasn’t sure I could either.

  “We’re going to be okay, Hallie. I promise you, we will be okay,” Leah said and quickly ushered me down to the waiting car to take us home to where mom would no longer be, and that thought just hurt my heart, so I leaned back to cry.

  Leah was robotic and didn’t say anything more, whereas I just cried until I had nothing left to shed. I didn’t want to see anyone, so I hid in my room until everyone left. We didn’t have much family. It was always just the four of us, and now we were two.

  Part I

  Eighteen months later

  1

  Picking up the pieces

  I would have loved to say that I went out with a blaze of glory in my last year of high school and then had a kick-ass summer to follow, but that’s not how my story unfolded. My mother died, and I along with my older sister were left alone. There was not a day that followed when I didn’t feel abandoned and completely alone.

  Nevertheless, my sister Leah is amazing. I swear she was put on this earth to be just that. Yes, we were typical sisters that fought over clothes, makeup, and literally everything under the sun, but deep down, she’s my rock, and I don’t know what I would have done without her these last few months. It was like she went into survivor mode and completely took charge of me, our house, and the bills. You name it, she did it.

  When we lost our father, we hit some tough times, but nothing compared to other families who experienced the same kind of loss. We had ou
r home and all the essentials to keep us going. Other than losing some of the things we were used to having, like cable with all the channels, mom opted for Netflix instead. It was much cheaper, and we still could watch our favorite shows; we would just have to wait a bit longer for new episodes. I didn’t mind, and it’s not like I had a lot of screen time anyway.

  Yes, at eighteen, I was still on a restricted schedule, because I had to study to keep up with my grades, or there would be no UNC in my future. Leah was more the bookworm of the family.

  Sitting in front of my parents’ lawyer was one of the most mind-blowing two hours of my young adult life. I thought I knew everything about mom and dad, but at the reading of mom’s will, it was an afternoon of discovery. We were so worried that Mr. Doyle was going to tell us that we were so far in debt that we would have to sell our house, but that wasn’t the case at all.

  Although mom’s salary increased over the years, she still lived in a frugal manner, going without things for herself so her girls can have more. Dad was the same way when he was alive, and I guess somewhere along the way, I forgot that and took mom for granted.